28-08-01

The Australian


'Sir, I have a cunning plan' (as Blackadder's offsider used to volunteer) - here's a way for our Minister for Containment to extricate himself from the ever-deepening hole he has been digging over the past few years.

Mr Ruddock should boldly take to Cabinet a scheme under international law for Australia to devolve control of Christmas Island to the United Nations, 'for the duration'.

The refugee problem is a worldwide problem, and as such the UN is best placed to deal with it. Having a regional outpost on an island such as Christmas - the main function of which now appears to be a convenient stepping stone for would-be asylum seekers - the UNHCR bods could receive and 'process' these at their leisure, and apportion varying contingents of those found to be deserving of refuge to member nations according to a formula Mr Ruddock no doubt would be only too eager to devise. (Though perhaps not without a little help from his "mean and tricky" mates.) And while we're at it, perhaps we can wash our hands of those useless Ashmore Reefs at the same time.

But Phil better hurry if he wants to be able to rest on such laurels: I get a feeling among my fellow AustrAliens [sic] that he will fall on his sword on election day...


XXX (*)

* Devil's Advocate